The Reality of Grief

With the 8 month mark rapidly approaching, I'm finding out more in regards to grief and the people around the ones grieving. I was recently told that I had been given numerous allowances and been shown great compassion but that it had to end. It was as if to say I was milking my grief and trying to gain something. In my world, compassion for others, regardless of their situation, never ends. It is human decency. But for grieving mothers that still cry at the smallest thing and have really bad days, compassion should apparently end at that 8 month mark. People have moved on, their lives have continued as though nothing happened. Yet, I'm still here. I'm still here trying to figure out how to keep going without my daughter. Someone shared with me that grief isn't a phase or a choice. Trust me, I would not choose to live with this grief. If I could make it go away, I swear on all that is holy that I would. I want nothing more than to have my life back. The one I had

I've pondered this a lot in the last 7 months. Why isn't grief considered a disability? There is so much that comes along with it and it affects your mind and body in more ways than you think possible. For me, I suffer from depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia. I take at least 10 medications a day, go to grief therapy, and physical therapy to assist my body because grief has taken a tole on it. Every day, I'm expected to go out into the world and function. Would we make someone that is going through chemo do the same? Would we judge how they participate in their day or at their job or in their life in general? What about someone that is visibly ill? Would we expect the same from them? Probably not. So why do we expect someone with grief that is suffering daily, to go out into the world and function at a high level? Let me be very honest here. I'm not functioning well. I cry a lot. I'm so sad that it hurts. My body hurts. My brain hurts. My heart hurts. We sho