In the beginning of this journey, I read everything I could find on grief. Each book said the same thing. It mentioned the many stages of grief and how it is a process one must go through. There was no hope. No guidance for the future. Reading those books, I could not imagine how I was supposed to live in this grieving process for the rest of my life. If this was how it was supposed to be, then I was going to be done on this earth. I spent my days, in a fog, just waiting to join Catherine one day. At one point, my grief got so bad that my husband, my doctor, and I all made an agreement that if I got to the point of no return, I would be honest and go willingly into a facility. By September 2018, I was actively looking for an inpatient facility because the pain was so incredibly intense. It was September 11, 2018 that I was informed that my position at Permobil was being eliminated. Oddly enough, it was a good feeling. As I was trying to figure how to live this life of sadness and