Skip to main content

Another Milestone

Today was a tough and emotional day. Normally it would have been a day of chaos, when Catherine was here. It was the Lebanon Christmas Parade, Recital Day, and Keyboards at Christmas at the church. Catherine participated in all three and it was an insane Sunday. We would grab her as soon as she got done with the parade, race to the recital, do a very quick change from uniform to recital dress. After the recital she would race with my mother to Keyboards at Christmas. All those events still took place but without Catherine, there was no stress or drama.

When we got to the recital, I grabbed a program and sat down. It was weird being in that church without Catherine. We always played the flute choir together at the end. Betty asked me last weekend if I was still going to play. My gut reaction was no but I decided to do it. By Monday, I was freaking out and did what any 36 year old grown woman would do, I called my sister and asked her to play with me up there. Betty told me that you can't cry while playing flute. I took that challenge tonight. Emily graciously agreed and having her with me was so comforting. I'm lucky to have such a kind and supportive sister. The boys played their piano pieces beautifully. Max was pretty upset about playing today and there were some tears but he pulled it together and sounded amazing. Charlie did so well too. I was fine until a piano duet playing Away in a Manager and Lullaby. It hit me that Catherine wouldn't be playing this recital and she wouldn't be playing at the Christmas Eve service. I fell apart. And then a sweet young man got up and played the flute for his portion of the recital. The tears kept flowing. And then it was time for the flute choir. Emily and I walked up there together, took our places, and played. I was good for the first verse but I fell apart playing the second verse.  When we got done, Emily and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes and running down our faces. My sister has been such a blessing to me through this entire thing and I wonder if I will ever be able to thank her properly. Having her with me tonight gave me a sense of calm that kept my tears from turning into a massive meltdown. I miss my girl so much. The entire recital was dedicated to my sweet Catherine.



Keyboards at Christmas was this evening and we couldn't do it. I wanted to but knew that there was no way I was going to make it through another emotional moment. The church dedicated their program to Catherine as well. Max went tonight with my mother and Jack. While Josh and I thought it was a bad idea, Max insisted he wanted to go. I was quite surprised when I got a photo from one of Catherine's friends and Max was in the photo with her. What an absolute blessing. Max loves Laramie and I know he is in good hands with her by his side tonight. The church told me they were going to record the program so that we could watch it when we were ready. As much as we wanted to go tonight, I think we made the right decision to come home and decompress.


I was prepared for Christmas and all that came with it but I didn't prepare for the music and Catherine's absence from that part. How I'm supposed to get through the band concert on the 8th, or Max's band and choir concert on the 12th, or even the Christmas Eve service at the church? One step at a time I suppose. But this is one milestone that I believe sucked the hardest.

Comments

  1. One moment at a time. Take them as they come, don't look ahead--it'll bring you to your knees.

    This was definitely the suckiest milestone. I'm so sorry.

    Hugs.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cause of death

This particular subject has been on my mind for quite a few days. My husband and I discussed it and while we felt the following needed to be said, we were afraid to send a different message. I've prayed about this post and I keep feeling pushed to write it. For starters, this is not about my daughter's cause of death. We do not know it. We plan on not finding out. When they call with the results, the only thing I want to know is if it is something that could happen to my boys. That is it. Knowing her cause of death won't bring me peace. It won't bring her back. It won't change anything. She will still be gone and my heart will still be torn into a million pieces. My sweet daughter died peacefully in her sleep. There are numerous ways she could have died in her sleep. Knowing won't bring her back. One of the first things I'm asked is what happened. I usually respond with something in regards to her passing in her sleep. One would think that should be th...

Finding the "Sparklies"

Ten years ago our family faced a huge loss. My cousin's 5 year old daughter passed away. It was a shock for our whole family. I remember being terrified of losing my own children. Death seems to happen to everyone else but when it hits so close to home, it becomes very scary and real. I started reading her blog (and still do) and following her through her journey. When my Catherine died, my cousin couldn't get to me fast enough. She came to hold my hand as I was inducted as a member of the club that no mother wants to join. In reading her blog, she always lists "Sparklies" of her day. Hannah was fancy and loved all things fancy. Rachael and I like to think that our girls are hanging out together now. As a result, I had my first run in with "sparklies" since August 30th. With my goal of self care, I try to get a manicure and pedicure every few weeks. It is my time to sit and be still. No one bothers me and my usual nail girl doesn't chat, except to tell ...

The Issue of Bullying

Let me start by saying that I'm angry and I've thought about this post for some time. The issue has come up quite a bit the last week. A sweet soul left this earth and suddenly the parents of Wilson County decided to address the issue of bullying. They wanted to use my daughter's death as an example as well. The problem with that? My daughter didn't end her life because of bullying. She didn't even end her life. What the parents of this fine county did was exactly the thing they have been rallying against all week. To claim the cause of death of my daughter was suicide was a form of bullying. Especially since her parents don't even know the cause of death. Imagine waiting on that phone call and seeing everyone running with misinformation while you are still coming to terms with your child's death and knowing that eventual phone call with the cause of death is coming. Did you know it takes 8-14 weeks to get back a cause of death? We are 6 weeks into this and ...