The Reality of Grief

The day Catherine died, it seemed as though a dark veil was put over me. Everything I've looked at since that day has been seen through this black veil of grief. Life has been hard. There are so many days that I bargained with myself and God to get through. There were more days than not that I very seriously contemplated joining Catherine. I had no purpose. It has been awful. I decided the day that she died, that Josh and I would do what we could to support the band program. Catherine would have wanted that. From that thought, and with the help of one of Catherine's favorite mentors, the idea for a foundation was created. A foundation created to change the world. A foundation that would be used to finish the job Catherine started. By God, if she wasn't going to change the world, I was going to do it for her. I was excited in those early days of discussing the idea of this foundation. But the black veil of grief was preventing me from moving forward. It was hard. I becam...

I had just started my job at Permobil when I got a text from my daughter that a friend of hers had died. The first thing I did was ask her where she was and then got in my car to get her. I called her therapist to find out what to do. My number one concern was her. I did not go on Facebook and lament about a teenager's death. I did not demand answers. My one and only concern was my daughter and her well being. She took her friend's death hard. It was painful to watch. But I watched her. And talked to her. And worried about her. When Catherine died, I remember being in shock and most of the moments and days after are still hazy. What I do remember is calling her best friend's mother and telling her that Catherine died because I knew that she would want to tell her daughter. I made sure that the band director and principal of the school knew. We discussed the best way to tell her friends and classmates because despite being in high school, they are still children. We did no...