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My Pollyanna outlook

Pollyanna definition. (1913) A children's book by the American author Eleanor H. Porter. The title character is an orphan girl who, despite the difficulties of her life, is always extremely cheerful. Note: A “Pollyanna” remains excessively sweet-tempered and optimistic even in adversity.

 So I'm working on a Pollyanna outlook. Despite everything I'm going through, I'm working to  find the bright side. I've felt robbed throughout this process. Robbed of proms, senior pictures, graduation, a wedding, and grand babies. That is depressing. I'm trying to avoid the depressing. Life sucks in so many ways right now but by finding my Pollyanna outlook, it gives me hope. 

 Instead of being robbed of prom, I'm still going to get a prom. Maybe I will get to go with one of Catherine's friends for prom dress shopping. Or maybe I will volunteer with the special needs prom and help a girl buy a dress. I will insist on going tux shopping with the boys and maybe their dates will let me join. So I am robbed of Catherine's prom, but not of all prom. 

 Instead of being robbed of a graduation, I'm still going to get a graduation. Maybe I will go to Catherine's graduation and cheer for her friends and classmates. I will get to go to the graduations of these four boys of ours. There are going to be many graduations for nieces and nephews. So I am robbed of Catherine's graduation, but not all graduations. 

 Instead of being robbed of a wedding, I'm still going to get weddings. Maybe I will get one with Catherine's sister or brother. Hopefully I will get them with the boys. Maybe I will be included when one of Catherine's friends gets married. There will be weddings with nieces and nephews. So I am robbed of Catherine's wedding, but not all weddings. 

 Instead of being robbed of grand babies, I'm still going to get grand babies. Maybe I will get to be an honorary grandmother to someone else's grand babies. Hopefully the boys will give me grand babies. So I am robbed of Catherine's children, but not all grand children. 

 These Pollyanna outlooks may be ridiculous but they help me get through the day. I am working to find the good within all the bad. 

 On the work front, the day was good. I've been wearing a few hats at work the last few months. Working between Regulatory and Legal has been stressful but so much fun. The last few months have been spent preparing for our annual audit. When I left my job as a Regulatory Analyst, I thought that I wasted 3 years of my life with knowledge that would never be used. Finding a job at a medical device manufacturing facility as the paralegal seemed like a dream and I loved what I do but I think my heart is in regulatory. During a mock audit today, I felt at ease and all those years in regulatory came flooding back. I felt smart and like those 3 years weren't wasted. It was busy and I spent the day doing something I forgot that I loved. I even laughed!! A really hard belly laugh. It all felt good. 

 On the home front, tonight was a good one. All the boys were here and my sister and her crew showed up with dinner. There was noise and chaos and it was wonderful. Catherine's sister called tonight and we spoke at length. It was so nice to chat with her. I love hearing stories about my girl. The boys are in a good place tonight and it was a good evening. 

 We never know what tomorrow holds. Make sure you have no regrets with your loved ones. It is too late after they die. Love the living so that you have no regrets at the funeral. And don't forget, LIFE IS SHORT, SO EAT THE DAMN PIE! (A huge thanks to Sally and Paul Thaxton for the pie drop off tonight!)

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